Whose caste is it, anyway?

Imagine the following scenarios:

Your child meets with an accident and is in immediate need of blood. Lots of it. You rush to the donor bank and ask for blood matching your child’s blood group. At that instant do you check what was the caste/religion of the donor?

Your home is attacked by robbers while you are away when the guard losing no time calls the police and helps prevent the crime and protects your home. Do you then check which ethnicity does he belong to?

Someone offers you a sip of water when your throat is parched, someone offers you a seat in an overcrowded bus, someone shares food or someone lends hope when your world comes crashing down… does it really matter which caste does he belong to?

I’m guessing your answer to all of the above situations would be NO. And why is that? Because you know, in each of the situations above the ‘helper’ is giving you a reason to smile, to hang on, to fight back. He’s is re-assuring you that everything will be fine. In his way, he is valuing your life. His heart is valuing your life.
And we turn around and thank the person, express our gratitude or may be pray for them too.

However, when in our daily lives we confront situations specially like marriage and choice of profession the man-made thing called ‘caste’ suddenly reigns supreme.
Marriage within the same caste is the biggest dream of parents. If your child comes up with a choice of partner you thwart her dream and crush it with the heavy dose of emotional capsules and family name. You are ready to part with your life as you see your child not agreeing to your plans for her. You dwell in the well of sadness accusing her of misery and shame she got to the family. And in some brilliant cases you rob her of her life, lest she rebels!! But in all this process what you completely overlook is her heart! She will come around. She will forget and thank you for this brilliant decision once she moves on, so you think.

An ‘ideal’ job that doesn’t compromise with the ‘family values’ is applauded and wins social trophies for the family. While fathers go around boasting the 7 figure salary ‘Monty’ got as soon as he finished his MBA, mothers don’t stop from flaunting the number of marriage proposals they have sidelined as their son is now such a wonderful catch! Your family’s respect triples in value in the eyes of the society. What else matters?
But again, did you ask your son if he’s happy? When did you last check what does he do in his free time? Or does he even get time for himself? Or do you think its irrelevant? That everyone ends up liking their job. It’s a matter of time. The kids will get used to, just like you did. That after all these years of studying medicine, how can your son become a DJ. Ridiculous!

Dear parents, I really want to speak to you on behalf of your children.
We love you. Unconditionally. We want to see a smile on your face, everyday. We want to be with you. We want you to be proud of us in whatever we do. Your presence in our life matters. If we think different, it doesn’t mean that we are disrespecting you. We want to pay heed to your advice but we also want to learn from our own experiences. Please trust us and we promise we will never let go of your trust. When we were born we trusted you with our life and with that bond our life blossomed. We are indebted to you for the life you have provided to us and we want to make the most of it! So please trust us and keep us in your prayers.
Please listen to your heart and not what others might think. Like R- Madhavan’s character in 3 idiots had said – Why should we care about what our neighbour thinks? He didn’t raise me up. He didn’t suffer for my sake. He didn’t provide me with anything. Why worry about the society parents? It is we who make it afterall!
If we get un-reasonable then set us right. Defeat us with logic but not through coloured vision of the society.
Dear parents, listen to your heart and help us become strong and courageous individuals. Coz in the end, it’s the heart that matters and nothing else!


P.S. I could elaborate on more issues but thought of sticking to only 2 as of now.

"Jeendagi" jiyengey udhaar

Lo ban gaya mazaak
Ke kisi ki muskuraat pe huye they nisaar
Wo dikhey bhi nahi - bas Chhoo kar chal diye
Kiye hamare kuchh pal, zaar – zaar

Kehtey hain mohabbat
Deewana bana deti hai
Toh bata ae haseen- Tujhmein kya wo khushbu thi
Jo humein ussey pehle hi, paagal kar gayi karaar

Phirtey hain dar dar
Liye haath mein tera ishtihaar
Jo koi bata de kisi waqt
Kahan, ho jaaye tera deedar

Uss pal ka hai intezaar
Tujhko dekh loon, jee bhar, ek baar
Phir ban jaaney de mera mazaak
Waada hai, taa – umr Zindagi jeeyengey udhaar

It ain't over yet

The pillows still lie side by side
The hand still goes out to the latch
Saag still gets made but no extra rotis
Dinner, never close to being over fed

Mirror makes a mockery of the solo reflection
Perfume bottles await the touch
Watches time, for almost eternity
Figuring out the last time they were touched

Candles light the room on emergency
Wine, no sausage, no cream
Beautiful memories laden in the heart
Precious and untouched

You are...

You are the precious dew drop
Resting on my finger tip
So beautiful, you glisten in my eyes
But scared I am - what if i spill?

You are the dream in my eyes
Every night I see you smile
Every dawn I fear waking up
What if I don't see you a while?

You are the prayer on my lips
Touching, caressing, spilling
I fear losing a moment to the crowd
Afraid of finding you slipping

You are my thought, my light in the dark
You are my seasons to the year
You are the reason, the option,the answer
Of why I want you to be near.....

The gaze

As life moved on
It was just the gaze that
Stayed on – just like it is right now…
Bathing in the past
Mingling with the present
Searching for tomorrow
Looking for a hint

Love

There is a constant need for me
To find love
To feel it
To see love
To need it
To hold it and
Release it
To cradle and
Unleash it
Irreplaceable
Irresistible
Incessant
Incredible
To have it and
To keep it
And never to lose it?

To Zoozee, with love

Wishing
Praying
Mumbling
Breathing
Sinking
Sailing
Holding on
To the thought that you are the best thing that happened to me ever.
My dearest friend.